dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
