Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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