I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
