planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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