just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
