Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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