I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
