So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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