so that wasnt chicken after all
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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