My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
