If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
