just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
