you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
