so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I supernannyed him into submission
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
