thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
