she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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