help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
