i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
