I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
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