i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
