it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
