I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
