so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
