Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
