Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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