and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
