wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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