I am in a vortex of obligation.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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