Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
