I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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