Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
