Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
