Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
