Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize