It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
