Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
