if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
