he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
