thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Randomize
