we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
