The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
