and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
