I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it's like iHOP with fire
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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