You're so nebulous sometimes
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
