you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The air was thick with penises
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
