i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize