C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
