i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm always down for nudity.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
