sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
