You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
