the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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