We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
The air taste purple.
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