Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize