MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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