Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
