you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
