is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
