Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
