Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
