i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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