There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
