So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
