if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
