I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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