Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
