Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
