I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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