stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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